13 minutes!

13 minutes. That's the average warning time for a tornado alert.

When you think of how much time you might need to prepare for a major event in your life or how much warning time you'd like to have before something came along and changed your world, I'm sure that amount of time is longer than a few minutes.13 minutes just isn't much time, especially when talking about warning for a natural disaster.

Meteorologists are usually able to give the public days of warning when a hurricane is on its way. But 13 minutes! That's not even enough time to jump in the car and drive to the next town or city to escape what's coming your way. Now think about being a parent during the scariest moment of your life, in a situation where you didn't have much warning, and there's absolutely nothing you can do but wait it out. That's a pretty helpless feeling as a parent. On Monday, October 23, 2017, that's exactly how I felt. I was in the midst of disaster with little warning and no way out to calm my little one.

That Monday was like any typical Monday for me. We were living in Wilkesboro, NC at the time. I went to work at 7:30 am and would usually be home by 3:45 pm. After work I went to a store, picked up my son from daycare, and then headed home. When we got home, we were greeted by my mother who was in town visiting. Once I got settled, I started dinner around 4:45 pm so it would be ready when my husband got home in an hour. As I was cooking, my mom asked about any major weather alerts as she noticed something felt different outside. I had told her I wasn't aware of anything and continued to cook.

Within just a few minutes, that's when we heard it . . . the loud alert from my phone. It was a tornado warning. As a read the words "Take Shelter Now" across my screen, my heart sank! I had always heard people talk about tornadoes, but never had an experience of my own. I remember thinking to myself, "How could everything be fine one moment, and then all of sudden out of nowhere we're in potential danger?" I immediately turned off the stove, grabbed Micah, and headed down to the lower level of our townhome and into the storage closet. My mom and I were sitting almost shoulder to shoulder and Micah was on my lap whining. I can only imagine how confused he was, as his one-year-old brain tried to make sense of why were sitting in a storage closet in silence.

It was so quiet; as if the earth had stopped for a moment. But that quickly changed. I first remember hearing the sound of wind blowing hard and loud rain that sounded like a waterfall. I thought of my husband and I at Niagara Falls for our one year anniversary and how beautiful the sound of the waterfall was. But this sound was not at all beautiful. It was terrible! Then the lights began to flicker before the power completely went out. It was so dark that I could barely see my hand in front of my face. That loud wind and waterfall sound just got closer and closer until it turned into a frightening rumbling and roaring sound. I had never felt so helpless. I tried to quiet my thoughts before squeezing Micah tight and bowing my head to pray. All I could say was "Lord, calm the storm and get us out!" If I ever needed Psalm 23 more in my life, it was at this moment. I was scared and needed my Heavenly Father to comfort me as I was failing to comfort my own child.

The tornado hit at 5:11 pm that day. And it left just as quickly as it came. Although it felt like we had been crouched down in that closet for a lifetime, it was only a matter of minutes. Thankfully it was only an EF-1 tornado, so it wasn't catastrophic. As we looked outside, we saw downed trees, hanging power lines, and some minor damage to houses around us. And the same stillness that was there before the storm was there after as if nothing had happened.

In the days and weeks after the tornado I began to reflect a lot on my limitations as parent and my faith in God. As parents, we so desperately want to be everything for our children. For me, this has been something that has always weighed heavily on me. I want to be strong, patient, kind, calm, and so many other things for my children, but if I'm honest with myself, there will be so many times throughout my years of being a mother and parenting that I simply cannot perfectly be everything I need to be for them. This is where I have learned to let go of trying to be that perfect mother and parent and simply letting God fill in those gaps of where I'm weak and in need of help.

I could not be what my son needed from me that day. Honestly, had I not reminded myself who my Father is, I would have been right there in that closet whining along with Micah. But I had to gather myself and muster up every ounce of faith I had to let the Lord's strength and courage work through me.

In life, disaster will strike. And unfortunately, there will be times where you didn't even see it coming or didn't have much warning. It comes and all you think about is how you want out. In the midst of the storms in your life, in spite of how bad it seems, regardless of whether you tried to plan for it or not, I encourage you to just be still and let God be God. He can be exactly what you need him to be when you need him to be it. Whether it's something smaller like just a little extra patience potty-training a child and dealing with tantrums or a major battle like trying to make it financially or emotionally through the next month.

Psalm 46:1 - God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

His strength was exactly what I needed that day and what I'll continue to need in everything I do, especially being a parent!